Once Upon A Time

A fairytale my life used to be 
As we lived in a fairyland by the sea 
Island living ended as continents drew near
Life shifted yet family always lent an ear 
At times parted by oceans and countless miles 
Time zones making it difficult to speak
Connection however was never out of reach 

A bond thicker than water
Stronger than steel 
A diamond molded by the stars 

Family 

Drawn together by our own unique gravitational pull 
We changed the world to our whim 
We are the lucky ones 
Knock knock 
Let us in 

A life lived by memorable moments 
Seconds stretched on to infinity as we made each moment last as long as needed 
Happiness, boundless joy, love was in the air 

Bliss 

Who knew the snake that gave the apple
Would be water as it formed our downfall 

Our garden would be disturbed by a few disgustingly simple words 

They found a body and they think it’s hers

Haunting, daunting, mind altering

The tectonic plates shifted that day in the least favorable way 
Why couldn’t she just be ok 

A text that stopped the world 
A text that made me want to hurl 
A text that altered my brain chemistry 
A text etched forever in my memory 

“Don’t want to overly worry you but mom hasn’t showed up back at the hotel after her hike- should have been there hours ago- a search and rescue team is going in to try and find her - will let you know if I hear anything further.”

Eight o three 

Stop, shift 
Quick stop and think 
Who comes to mind when your life is on the brink 

Snap of the fingers 
Snap snap snap 

Look at what the screen says 

Snap snap snap 

You have to go 
Go find her 
I know, I know I have to go 

Prepared I’ll never be for this journey out into the darkest waters 
Capitán of a black, four wheeled boat I sought her 

Is there a heaven? 
Is there a hell?
Hell on earth what a likely thing 
Man oh man give that damn snake a ring 

He sure played his fiddle right from the very start
What more is there to give for you already have my heart 

Wife, Mom, Grandmother, Friend and more 
What made that traitor close her door 

Slam, shut, click, close 
Her light turned off and only he knows 

One twenty four 
At the trailhead, beginning my hike 
Beautiful day without a cloud in sight 

Pictures came in for the family to see 
As we all gathered round the Christmas tree
Pictures of the present 
Not the past you see 

Pleasantly presently present presenting picturesque perfection perfectly 
For only us to see 

One foot in front of the other 
Sticks in hand, boots on tight 
Not a single danger in sight 

You have to keep the rhythm 
Keep your pace 
There isn’t anything you can’t face
Feel your vision, see through the prism 
You aren’t a victim 

Weather shifts as she descends 
Not even an hour in and she’s met her end

One picture unsent for us to unveil 
One picture left from fairyland trail 
One picture on life’s sliding scale 
One picture left in her fairytale 
One picture left for us to observe 
One picture … then life’s an exponential curve 

Tower bridge on fairyland trail 
A moment in time being lived by a snail 

Up and up away we go 
Hold on tight your in for a show 
What the hell just occurred 
Wait, stop, halt, the afterword 

Thump thump
Thump thump 
Thump thump 

Silence 

37 . 63 07 81 
-111 . 13 38 68

They found a body and they think it’s hers 

Swallowed up in the jaws of a water serpent 
Moving fast with no escape 
Mother Nature is the fiend of this story 
And not even Plato can solve this with an allegory 

The cave that Plato talks about 
Filled with the liquid that took out our Girl Scout 
A torrent of water came forth 
Tauntingly whispered follow me ol sport 

It’s hard to explain how a few precious things seem to follow throughout all our lives 
After all said and done I’m just watching my girls sleeping there with my bear by their side 

Please, let me multiply my heartbeat 
Come back find that path 
Descend the flooded cave passages 

Bring us back that light that the snake took from us that night 
Help us through the fog 
You gave us the prologue 
Follow us from antiquity 
I need you here in modernity 

I need you 

Earthquake 
Spin shatter shake 
I don’t like these tectonic plates 

Recreate my old fairyland 
Bring me back to my island home 
Bring me back to the place I’ve always known 

Your story isn’t over 
Here take this four leaf clover 
Dammit mom I miss you 
I don’t know how we’re going to pull through when all we do now is live life with one eye in the rear view 
I know this to be true

I do, I have always and I will always deeply love you 

On the 25th of August 2023 Jeanne R Howell was tragically swept away by a flash flood while hiking in Bryce Canyon on Fairyland Loop Trail. A month and a couple of weeks later - on the 14th of October 2023 Benjamin Howell (son), Brianna Howell (wife of Ben), Marcus Howell (nephew), Andy Howell (nephew), Jordan Hackney (neice), and Jason Hackney (husband of Jordan) hiked via GPS coordinates to the exact location where she last rested. Unknown to them at the time, it was also the day of the solar eclipse. While hiking and searching for the location they shared memories of their Mother, Aunt, Wife, Grandmother, and Friend. It was a difficult trip to make but it was so profound in its own sense. After reaching the end of the wash they found the tree and last resting spot. They built a carne in her memory and spread some of her ashes there. This poem was written directly after returning home from that trip.

After looking through the photos of the trip we also noticed quite a lot of photos had multiple light orbs in them.

Written By: Benjamin Howell